If you’re a sexually active person, there is a chance you have encountered difficulty with reaching orgasm at some stage.
While it doesn’t impact everyone, studies suggest between 15 and 40% of women report never reaching orgasm during sexual activity. (Those figures drop when clitoral stimulation is introduced, and skyrocket when it’s removed).
According to a study by the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, heterosexual and bisexual women see the lowest rates of orgasm during sex.
Only 65 and 66% of these women, respectively, climaxed often, compared to 95% of heterosexual men.
There are many possible reasons for that discrepancy, and we’ll go into that a little later.
But first, we should quickly point out that sexual satisfaction is a subjective thing; not a universally defined one.
The absence of an orgasm does not exclusively represent a ‘failed’ sexual encounter.
That being said, many women and people with vulvas do struggle with arousal, pleasure and orgasm, so it’s important to understand there are methods that can help.
Meditation is one of them.
Now, studies have shown us mindfulness practices are effective in aiding stress management, anxiety and depression. Applying that same approach to sexual satisfaction is less publicly discussed, but there is some encouraging research in this area, suggesting it can make a real difference.
To start, what causes difficulty in orgasm?
Why some women struggle to orgasm
A great many things can impact arousal in women. To date, there are no known causes’ of Female Orgasm Disorder (defined as a condition that causes distress as a result of difficulty or inability to orgasm for six months or more).
However, we do know that there are a number of medical, or chronic conditions as well as pharmacological treatments that can trigger orgasm difficulties.
If you’re concerned this may be your experience, it’s always best to speak to a medical professional.
How does orgasm meditation work?
There are a number of ways that meditation can help women orgasm.
To start, meditation can help people become more present and aware of sensations in the moment. It also alleviates stress, which has been linked to sexual dysfunction.
Stress or anxiety can interrupt the sexual experience, impairing our ability to process sexual cues so that even in sexual situations our brains don’t register the sexual triggers that we need in order to become aroused.
The practice of meditation teaches your mind to sit in the moment where you can notice more subtle cues and sensations and allow arousal to grow.
Meditation can help with low desire, difficulty with arousal, and anorgasmia.
Mindfulness is about quieting that noise to help you become more in touch with yourself in that present moment, to bring awareness and joy to the sexual encounter.
When you can calm the mind and body, you can tune into what you’re feeling and experiencing, which can increase arousal, emotional connection and pleasure – which may lead to orgasm.
How to try orgasm meditation for yourself
If you’re new to meditation, or just this particular type of meditation, the secret is to start small and be kind to yourself. Keep in mind that mindfulness is a practice;’ you may have some difficulty remaining focused the first time.
The easiest place to begin is with the breath; paying attention to every inhale and exhale. From there, attempting to free your mind of all other thoughts for as long as possible.
The final step is connecting mind and body.
This is where the connection can be made of mindfulness and sexual enjoyment.
You breathe in, you might say ‘I’m breathing in, I’m aware of my body’.
As you breathe out, ‘I’m breathing out, I’m aware of my body.
When you calm the mind and body during the initial stages of foreplay during sex, you can tune in to what you’re feeling and experiencing.
On sexual wellness app Coral offers an orgasmic meditation that has been developed by their resident sex and intimacy coach.
The practice works much like other kinds of meditations, guiding listeners through a relaxing mindfulness exercise rooted in bodily awareness.
Mindfulness meditation works particularly well for orgasm because of its focus is on being in the moment and noticing sensations in the body.
Where it differs from your average meditation is in its attention to sexual organs.
Meditation doesn’t pass over the vulva when guiding the listening through their bodily awareness. It’s designed to include the source.
Does orgasm meditation really work?
No one body is exactly alike so that answer will vary from person to person. But there is a strong indication that regular mindfulness practice can positively influence your sexual experience.
A recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research found mindfulness activities focused on physical sensations were able to enhance feelings of arousal in women.
The brain is the most powerful sexual organ. And it can be conditioned to notice erotic sensation more readily. You might not reach orgasm after listening to meditation once, but you might.
Seeing orgasm as the ‘primary motivation’ for sex, can lead to folks thinking their bodies are ‘wrong’ or ‘not good enough’.
I read this one tantric practice that said if we look at sex as a mountain… if we have this need to run to the top and reach the peak, maybe we miss so much what else that’s on offer.
What about slowing down and enjoying the field or smelling the flowers?
There’s real value in removing the burden of achieving the goal of orgasm; of reaching that peak.
And funnily enough, that too can improve your experience of pleasure.
If we change our beliefs around what we’re connecting with in that moment, this can remove the pressure and reduce anxiety which can potentially increase arousal.’
Ultimately, the goal here is to ensure your sexual enjoyment – whatever that looks like.
So, if there’s a chance that slowing down and getting to know your body better will help you along that journey, why not give it a shot? It certainly doesn’t hurt.
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